“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou
I’ve always admired Maya Angelou. I’ve read nearly all of her books, and for a long time, her wisdom held a seat on my personal “board of directors.” But I’ve also come to believe something else: no single philosophy holds all the answers.
This idea ... that first examples should be final ... may often prove true. But it’s not how I want to live my life.
I know that because, when I was younger, people had every reason to give up on me. I gave them more than one example to justify it. Yet not everyone did.
One high school teacher I respected deeply wrote in my senior yearbook:
“Mark, you really made me eat my words — I wrote you off after year three! To your credit. The very best of luck to you always and may the winds of your future keep the sails full.”
That stayed with me as a reminder to not give up on people prematurely.
I’ve also spent time reading the work of Gregory Boyle, who has dedicated more than 40 years to working with gang-involved individuals in Los Angeles. His perspective is simple but powerful: there are no inherently bad people, only wounded people in need of healing.
That’s the mindset I choose.
I would rather believe in people beyond what most consider reasonable. I would rather meet struggle with patience, and failure with the opportunity for redemption. Because too often, the behaviors we judge are simply the outward signs of unmet needs, lack of support or pain that hasn’t yet found a path to healing.
This belief is part of why, at Saco & Biddeford Savings and Paquin & Carroll Insurance, we are so proud to support Maine’s first Psychiatric Residential Treatment Facility at Sweetser’s Saco campus. This initiative will provide care, support and a path to healing for some of our state’s most at-risk youth — addressing a critical gap in mental health services here in Maine.
If you have a few minutes, I encourage you to watch this short video*.
Life isn’t meant to be a one-strike game.
I’m deeply grateful to the people who gave me more than one chance ... who saw beyond who I was in a moment and believed in who I could become. And I’m equally grateful for organizations like Sweetser, who are doing that same work every day: offering support, tools and hope to those who need more than just one chance to find their way.
(Today’s photo is one of my favorites from my 20 years with the Royal Family Kids Camp in Ocean Park. Each summer, we hosted a week-long camp for children ages 7 - 11 who experienced abuse and neglect — many referred by Sweetser and schools across Maine. These are kids who simply need what every child deserves: a little extra love, support and a chance to begin healing. For one week each year, we had the privilege of offering just that. Sadly, Covid shut down the program, and we weren’t able to resume it.)
